Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Randomize
