i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
