I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
