She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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