Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
