Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
