It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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