I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
