But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
