So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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