Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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