i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
