Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
