He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You are the jesus of drinking
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
