My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
