"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
