are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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