At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
