so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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