so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I think my moral compass just broke
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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