Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
