I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
