You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
