Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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