4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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