So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't trust your balls anymore.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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