I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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