Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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