what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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