oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
sex in a hospital.. check
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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