Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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