Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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