I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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