ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
