Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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