I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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