There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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