Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
