y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
