I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
