me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
