Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
