How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
