You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
