This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm at about main and main street
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
