i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
