Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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