so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The dick lei will go down in squad history
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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