better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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