My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
