i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
