i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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