I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
