Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
