My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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