Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
