she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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