this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
