just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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