i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
