Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Randomize