the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
